I finally made my decision. It wasn't as easy as everyone thought it would be.

I talk things through with cs and think that this is the best thing for the both of us.

:) Thanks B

I guess I'll be staying here to finish my degree and I'll fly off to Melbourne 2 years later.

I don't know what's in store for me two years later, but I'm prepared to face anything.

If its meant to be, its meant to be. There's no use worrying about it or trying to fight it.

I'm at peace with myself.

My new year resolution? Be a better person and be emotionally stronger.

I have my friends and family here with me, there's nothing I can't handle :)

I'll re-vamp this blog for New Year.

My wish list for Christmas?

1. Be less of a cry baby
2. spend more time with cs

I'm not 重色輕友 just that after cs left, I won't be seeing cs for the next 2 years.

"Instead of being disappointed about where you are, be optimistic about where you're going"

Hey guys, sorry for missing in action for weeksSssSSss ... Sorry bout that, coz I went on a holiday to Newcastle, Sydney, Tasmania and Melbourne. Haven't had time to upload and edit all the pics. I've been moving around, and made a quick decision to come back to Penang, last minute. I landed on Penang Airport last week. I don't remember the exact day, but I'm really happy to be back home.

I kept it a secret and made cs swore to never announce it on Facebook, so that I can surprise my dear ChingChing :)

AND MY PLAN WORKED!!!

She cried when she saw me, MUAHAHHAHA!

I'll upload pics and talk more about that in the next post.

As for now, I'm in a HUGE crossroad ... I don't know which way to go. I'm hoping someone could show me the RIGHT way this time.

I'm having this phobia of going back to Australia to study. I'm really scare of being alone, like seriously. I never had the opportunity to go study overseas with a bunch of friends. Consider yourself lucky if you had friends to accompany you all the way. You may not think they did much, but trust me, little things matters. When you're sick, they're there for you, when you're homesick, they're there to comfort you.

I was thinking of coming back to Penang and study at SEGI college ... but if I did that, I think it just shows that I'm a coward. Nobody would turn down a chance to study overseas.

I hate making decisions. Everything seems wrong.

Seriously, I need someone to talk to right now ...

I'm now at a crossroad again, I don't know which way to go.

I'm given a chance to do a U-turn or continue where I am.

I need someone to show me the right way.

I don't know whether to follow my heart or to follow my head.

This is just too much. Either way, I'm at the losing end.

I just want to be happy and content with my life, but I'm not.

It's just me ...

Was sitting on the bus on the way to Uni. Had my iPod turned on to my favourite song, somehow my mind was somewhere else and not into the song.

I was wishing I could have fun, I wish I can go out of my comfort zone and be someone else for one day.

Put on make-up, go out with friends, go clubbing and just not be the boring ol' me. I've never did all those things, it's like a forbidden place to me. Being the eldest child and sister, makes me feel that I need to always stay out of trouble.

When my lil' sis' was 14 or 15 years old, she got an 18 year old boyfriend who is a DJ (in some club I assume). She went clubbing, and she learn how to smoke, but of course she was grounded after mum found out about it, and had to stop everything. Well, she's doing good, she's an angel now, Haha!

She sure live her life to the extreme huh? What did I do?

Well ...

Nothing

I would love to do such thing one day. Just go out with my friends everyday, and just lose myself.

If I die tomorrow, I think the thing I'd most regret about is that I never really lived my life. I don't know what fun is, seriously. I'm not a geek that read book all day, and yet I'm not a social butterfly. I don't know what I am =.=

Roses

Honestly, every time my exam or assignment is over, the mood to update my blog is gone too =.=

I went to karaoke with B's cousin and her work colleague. Yep, I know its weird to be going out with a bunch of people older than me, but trust me, they're young at heart, Haha!

I had a great time.

I took a few photos while I was outside hanging clothes the other day. I was there busy hanging clothes when I smell something really nice. And it's not food la! It's a really soft scent. Then I turned around and realize, IT'S THE ROSES! Haahahhaa!



I was going to type more, but I need to get back to Gossip Girl :P

I'll be back in a bit ... I hope

xoxo

new template

I've change the template again, but I'm having headache at the moment.

I'll edit the template a lil, tomorrow.

Till then

xoxo

random rambling

All this law stuff, drives me crazy.

It just made me depressed all over again. I just feel so unhappy bout myself, the people around me and basically the whole shitty world.

Yep, here comes me again, complaining bout everything else. Just do me a favour and stop reading if you don't like to see me complain.

I just turned on the air-con, to cool myself off. I know I'm not suppose to, coz when it's time to pay the bill, I think I'll be in trouble (not that I'm paying it), but I can't torture myself anymore. It's crazy hot in my room and I NEED THE AIR-CON to keep me sane. I'm home alone, so I can get away with doing anything that I want, without getting caught.



I have no idea why I should be studying this stupid business law subject, I mean what's the point? If I know the law, then there'll be no lawyers anymore right? They'd be out of business. I mean, give people a choice of what they want to study, I'm not here to study some law or shitty marketing, or communication in business (CIB for short, but I usually refer to it as CIB*I) sorry for being rude, but its really CIB*I, I find no point in studying some sort of communication subject, you DON'T go and examine people on how you communicate with other human beings. It feels like "Okay students! Write me a 1000 words essay on how you shower" ?? Get the drift?

Communication is part of everyday life, just that some caucasion are being ignorant about it and have to study about "intercultural communication". I mean "HELLO!" I did that my whole life. I have friends of different races. I don't need to be examined on it, I already ACED it in real life situation.

Grass is always greener on the other side, or like what the chinese said "外國的月亮比較圓" if you literally translate it, it would mean, oversea's moon is rounder (I have no idea if there's such word, I mean the "rounder")

Now I know what it meant. I've always wanted to go places like U.S.A, or U.K, or Australia, well, now I'm here, and I'm not lovin' it. So, I've seen how "ang moh" live. Been there, done that, so can I go back home?

The only reason I'm not leaving here is because I don't want to do my degree in KL. I've live there for about 2 or 3 years and I don't like it at all. I think you'd be thinking in your mind that "Boy, nothing satisfy this girl" well, true, I'm hard to please.

If I'm leaving, I just wanna be back home in Penang, as in doing degree in my hometown.

I've been complaining a lot lately, this is just who I am. When I get frustrated, I complain, but half the time, I don't even mean what I complained. It's just a temporary feelings. Once the frustration about exam is gone, I'd be thankful again. I don't even know if the sentence I just wrote make sense ... or not

Anyways, I gotta get back to my business law subject and just do my thang. I know I didn't try hard enough, coz I hate this subject, but I am trying, coz I don't want to end up being pregnant at 22 years old, uni dropout, randomly getting married, and live the rest of my life being poor =.= just ignore this paragraph

What I'm trying to say here is, I want to get this degree, secure a good job, save enough money to get my own car and house, and just be happy. I don't want to give up studying (even though I think it's hard and there are times I feel like giving up) but I'd do anything to NOT end up being a poor pathetic soul who couldn't even afford a PDI clothing =.=

Well, ignore this whole post. I'm just rambling bout stuffsssss.

On a lighter note, I can't wait to be back in Penang, hang out with my girl friends, not girlfriend, but girl AND friends, which means they are girl, and they are my friends, okay, nevermind.

I will definitely go REDBOX and sing my heart out, then to the new Hard Rock Hotel? Or is it Hard Rock Cafe Hotel?? ... Anyways, I want to go to the hotel's beach and hang out. Then of course, how can I leave my baby gurney alone, not to forget baby queenssie (QB) Haha! I'd go batu feringghi for my LV ... it's bargain timeeeee Haha! Hopefully they still sell those stuff there.

I miss Ramlee burger too!! I miss my life. I miss me.


xoxo